Baby Names
by MakeMeLoseControl
Summary: Back with improvements. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke’s baby, Cristina is changed forever when tragedy strikes for their unborn child. Will they be able to overcome it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.
1. Chapter 1

**Baby Names  
**  
**Summary:** Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.

So it's back. And I'm back, under a different name… Sorry I disappeared for a while. I have made some changes and improvements. Hope you enjoy.

To start off, I want to make it clear that I STILL know nothing about medicine. I'm crap at science and my only medical experience is watching 'Casualty' and 'Grey's' and 'Scrubs' and 'Green Wing' and 'Holby City' and 'House' and 'ER'... that's a lot of hospital programmes so I SHOULD probably know some stuff about medicine but I don't. I just wanted to let you know so that if anything is incorrect... well whatever.  
Just stay with me okay. Whatever I say goes... So if I were to say: 'You don't need a heart to live.' Well firstly I'd be stupid and Denny would still be alive... but for the remainder of this fic it would be true. Right. Now, on with the show:

But you DO need a heart to be alive. Okay.

**Disclaimer:** All of Grey's characters and themes are at the hands of Shonda. Though sometimes I like to imagine that I own them….

"I'm just saying that maybe it's about time you took that leave the Chief offered." Preston Burke said to his girlfriend defensively. She was six months pregnant, tired and over-worked but, nonetheless, still at work. She refused to take any time off and, to top it all off, she was hormonal. Unbearably hormonal. One second she'd be fine, and the next, she'd be… well, she'd be in the kind of mood she was in now.

"Leave?" Cristina snapped back at him as he prepared himself for more yelling. It was all he'd been getting for god-knows-how-many months. "Leave?!" She repeated, louder this time. She was acting as if what Burke had suggested was a completely obsurd idea. As if he had said she should jump off the roof of the hospital to see if it would hurt. To Burke, that wasn't sounding like such a bad idea right now. "And what do you expect me to do on 'leave' Burke? Re-arrange your book shelves? Learn to cook?!" 

Each word that left her mouth was dripping with sarcasm. Burke knew that Cristina had few things of value outside the four walls of Seattle Grace Hospital and very few things to do to pass time. He understood that she was bound to get very bored very fast with nothing to do at home alone, but he could see that she needed rest. He could see the exhaustion in her eyes and in the way her shoulders hung.

"Cristina..." He paused, trying desperately not to mess up and say the wrong thing. He was genuinely scared. With Cristina in one of her psychopath moods there was no telling what she'd do. Plus they were in a surgical room surrounded by... sharp instruments. And Burke had no doubt in his mind that  
Cristina would be able to kill him and make it look like an accident. "Honey..." He flashed her his sweetest smile in an effort to calm her down. Unfortunately, it just made things worse.

"Seriously?" She said with disbelief, throwing her hands up in anger and then slamming them down onto her hips so that her elbows jutted out. Burke stood still on the other side of the room, confused but glad that he had earlier put some space between them. His smile slowly sank as he wondered to himself what he had done now. "You're laughing at me!" Cristina continued answering his silent query. "Seriously? You find this funny?" 

Cristina rolled her eyes. She was going through hell every day. She was aching and tired and heavy. Burke could never understand the whirlwind of emotions she went through every day and, although she knew that he tried his hardest to, sometimes it was as if he was taking this all as a joke. This was no joke. It was the rest of their lives. It was commitment and it was scary and Burke was laughing about it. She glared at him waiting for whatever he had left to say.

Feeling that he had no way of winning, Burke gave up. He glanced at his watch.

"Maybe I should go." He said with his voice quiet and eyes fixed on the floor.

"Whatever." Cristina mumbled also looking at the floor. Her voice was now down too.

"I'll...um...I'll see you at home or-"

"Whatever!" She snapped, shouting again and re-catching Burke's attention. He looked up to see her eyes fixed on the floor. "Just go!" She looked up suddenly, surprising him, and stared him straight in his eyes. Without flinching, she added "That's what you're used to doing anyway. Leaving."

She was referring to the first time he had left her a few weeks after they had gotten together. It had been a hard time for both of them, though they both tried hard to hide it.

"Cristina, that's not fair." Burke replied, hurt by the hate in her voice.

"No. No it's not." Cristina said dismissively. "But you know what else isn't fair?" She didn't wait for his reply. "Being pregnant. Because, seriously, it sucks. And what sucks more is that I seem to be the only one who wants this baby right now. That's not fair either. I'm pregnant with a kid that is  
only wanted by me!"

Burke was stunned beyond speech. She thought he didn't want their baby? "Of course I want it!" He found his voice was louder than intended. But he did want it. He'd always wanted to be a father and now he was going to be one with the woman he loved. Why would she think that he wanted anything else?

"I thought you said you were leaving." Cristina said bluntly looking from the door beside her to the shocked-looking man in front of her.

Burke sighed and, feeling completely defeated, headed for the door. Just as his hand made contact with the cool metal of the door knob he heard Cristina mutter something under her breath.

"Excuse me?" He asked taking his hand away from the door. He'd heard what she'd said. He was just refusing to believe his ears. Refusing to believe that the woman he loved could be so spiteful.

Cristina looked her boyfriend up and down as best she could with him standing so close to her. Then she looked deep into his dark eyes. "I said," she told him, her voice un-faltering. "That I hope I won't have to lose another baby to make you feel obliged to come back."

Preston Burke could have died that very moment. He was almost physically dizzy from all the mixed emotions swirling around that room like a crazy, violent storm. His ears hadn't failed him. He'd heard what he thought he'd heard. And yet he still couldn't believe it.

"How could you say something thing like that?" He asked, truly and deeply hurt. Cristina didn't even seem fazed. She shrugged one of her shoulders in a motion as if to say 'Who cares?'. "You know that's not true." Burke continued, becoming more and more heart-broken with each second that passed  
of Cristina showing no remorse. "I came back to you because I realised how much you meant to me. How much I loved you. Not because I felt...pity for you!" He spat out the end. He wasn't just hurt. He was angry. How could she think of him like that? How could she think that he was so heartless? And he  
was angry at the fact that she didn't even seem to care how much she was hurting him.

Cristina hoisted herself onto a counter next to the sink. Doing things like that was becoming increasingly hard everyday with her hastily growing middle and the weight it brought with it. It was still 'Just a bump' as Preston kept saying but to her it was hell. Hell inside of her, living and... being hell! She couldn't wait to be rid of it. "Okay Burke." She said harshly. She had seen the hurt look on his face and it had, in turn, hurt her. Most of the stuff she was saying surprised her. She knew how awful she was being but she just couldn't stop herself. She tried to be a bit less hard on him. 

"Just go... cut up some hearts or something." She waved him away as if shooing a fly. She hadn't wanted to come off as rude she just wanted to get rid of him before either of them said something they'd regret.

"No." He said. "No I will not 'just go' We're going to talk about this-"

"Oh, enough with the talking!"!" Cristina yelled. They were both getting so loud that people outside could surely hear them. "I don't WANT to talk about it. I don't want to talk to you!"

"Well we're not in Beverly Hills anymore!" Burke retaliated. "Here in the REAL world we don't always get what we want. We're not all pampered powderpuff princesses with no idea how the REAL world works!" He stopped, suddenly out of breath. The pause made him grasp what he'd just said. "Cristina...I..." He tried to apologise but words just wouldn't make it to his mouth. "I'll see you later." He said reaching for the door again. He opened it but then turned back to her. He didn't want to end their conversation like that. "I'm sorry." He admitted.

"I knew this was a mistake." Was her reply. She said it more to herself than him. "I never loved you." She said in a dull monotone. Burke knew she was just saying it but it hurt him that she was now really pulling out all the stops to cause him pain. "I was only sleeping with you to get my 'pampered  
powdrepuff Beverly Hills ' ass what I wanted! And this," She pointed at he protruding stomach with disgust and hatred painted all over her face. "This was a mistake. And that's all it ever was." 

Silence.

Feeling no need to respond, and with all the fight drained out of him, Preston Burke simply shook his head and left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Baby Names**

**Summary:** Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them for goodness sake.

She hadn't meant it. What she'd said. It wasn't true. She was just tired and finding it hard to cope with all these things piling up. She knew she'd upset him and she felt awful for that. All he'd done so far was be there for her, even though she could be, and always was, a bit of a bitch. And he was always putting up with her moods, he only ever argued when she was completely out of line. Like she had been a few seconds earlier.

Her eyes stayed fixed on the door beside her. It was still ajar after Burke's swift exit. Outside, she could see nurses and other hospital staff running around, going about their day to day jobs. She should probably be out there with them, but recently Bailey had been a bit less tough on her. It was probably noticeable how much stress she was trying to bottle up. Everyone seemed to be nicer to her, which was weird because she was being more rude to them. She'd snap and talk out of turn, they'd just smile and nod at her patronisingly, which obviously just made her more angry. They treated her like a kid now that she was having one. People she didn't know would come up and touch her tummy talking in incoherent cooing voices and saying stupid gibberish words as if she wasn't there. The nurses, who usually hated her, would smile at her as she walked past. Obviously, she wouldn't smile back, but it was still annoying. She was getting increasingly easy assignments. In fact, she hadn't seen the inside of an OR for almost a week. If this was what it was like when she was only six months along, what would it be like when she was  
nearly due?

But, as much as she hated to admit it, she was excited about having her own little bundle of joy. She was growing used to the extra weigh on her middle and the bump and all her clothes not fitting. She was getting used to strangers touching her and people being nice and all the smiling faces she received each day. What she'd said earlier was a complete lie. She _did_ want this baby.

She was thinking about Burke again. She really felt bad for what she'd said. It wasn't a usual feeling that she experienced and it was driving her insane. She just felt so guilty. The image of his pained face remained in her memory and broke her heart. She'd really hurt him. She wasn't sure if he'd ever forgive her. He surely hated her right now. But knowing Burke he'd probably love her again by the end of the day. Sometimes, she hated him for that. He was too forgiving. Sometimes she wished hat he would just hate her and shout at her and get angry and let all his feelings out. When he did nothing, she had no idea of what he was thinking or how he was feeling. She could only guess that he had forgiven her. 

What she had said was wrong and she knew she had to apologise. That was another part of relationships she didn't like. Having to admit that she was wrong. She'd always liked to think that she was never wrong. She'd always thought it true until she met Burke. He proved to her that she was probably wrong  
more times than she was right, unless she thought things through properly.

She heaved a sigh, planning what she'd say to Burke. Apologising to him was never easy. She'd always end up feeling dumb, like a kid who'd been forced to apologise to an old lady for smashing a window or something. Pushing off the smooth ledge she was on, she gracefully got to the floor. She stretched  
herself to her full height and stood up completely straight. She breathed in deeply and looked around her. It was only now that she realised that she was in a suture room. All this time she'd been too caught up in her thoughts to notice. 

She shook her head. She knew that her mind was just trying to find a distraction. A method of escaping her undeniable fate. She was going to apologise. She was going to get on with it and do it and feel it. She was going to be truly sorry and want to make things right. She'd say that what she'd said was wrong and Burke was right and blah blah blah...

She ran a hand through her untamed hair. She finally felt ready. She took in one more deep breath.

It was cut short by a sharp pain in her abdomen. It felt like someone was inside her and had just stabbed at her organs. She lightly touched where it hurt. The pain was gone now but the shock wasn't. What if there was something wrong? Addison had said there was a slight risk because of her previous operation. What if her baby was dying? She couldn't get these terrible thoughts out of her head. She was panicking. Her breathing hastened and her eyes shot from left to right. She reached for the door but was  
stopped again by another agonising flash of pain. This one hurt a lot more. She let out a quick, quiet gasp. She was now breathing extremely fast. She had broken out into a sweat. She tried to shout, to scream, to make any noise, but all that came out was a sound that was something more like an  
animal dying.

The pain was back again, this time not going away. It felt as if all her insides were being put in a blender. Being churned, sliced and getting caught and tangled in the blades. Her eyes were welling up. She couldn't breath, couldn't move, couldn't make a sound. She was feeling dizzy and nauseas. Her knees buckled under her and she fell onto the cold hospital floor. Unconsciousness soon followed. She welcomed the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary:** Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own them for goodness sake.

" Preston!" He turned to the direction the familiar voice was coming from. He had only a few seconds ago left Cristina alone in that suture room. He'd been so angry and so hurt he could hardly bare to look at her for another second. She had said a lot of hurtful things throughout their relationship but never had they been that spiteful and vile. He scowled just thinking about it.

Derek Shepherd had finally reached him and, thinking that Burke's disgusted face was directed at him, quickly corrected himself. "I mean Dr. Burke." He said hurriedly. Burke's expression softened. He used to never let Shepherd call him by his first name. He let most people call him by his first name but not Derek. That had changed when he became his fiancés best-friends boyfriend.

"What is it Dr. Shepherd?" Burke asked with his tone still quite harsh.

The shorter man looked like he'd been running. "It's Mrs. Langham." He said, his voice grave. From those few words, Preston knew exactly what was going on. Mrs. Langham was a patient of his. Quite a regular one. She had serious heart problems but wasn't far enough along on the transplant list to get a new heart. She'd been admitted once again to the hospital a few days earlier after she collapsed at her daughters wedding and had been at the hospital since. Her condition had been deteriorating but she still wasn't going to get her heart. From the look on Derek's face her condition had worsened considerably. "She's gone into VT." He confirmed.

Burke nodded and swiftly followed Derek back to Barbara Langham's hospital room where he saw nurses and other staff trying desperately to resuscitate her. After a quick assessment he prepped her for surgery. All the while, he couldn't get Cristina off his mind. What he'd said to her hadn't been that nice and she had really pushed his buttons this time. He just hoped that it would pass and they'd get over all of their arguing. If not for their own sakes, for the babies. Surely, all this stress wasn't doing any of them any good.

There were some times, and he really hated these times, that he wondered whether he'd made the right decisions in life. Was he ready to be tied down with a partner and a child? He knew that it was just cold feet and anxiety but he still sometimes couldn't help but wonder what life would be like if he was free single. He could be out meeting people, socialising, having fun. Instead he was in all the time being shouted at every second and would soon be cleaning up after Cristina and a child. As hard as he tried to shake these thoughts, they were still there. They lurked at the back of his mind and pounced out and made themselves noticed at moments of vulnerability. Moments like now.

He tried to banish the thoughts and occupy his mind with other things. Luckily for him, right now he had to focus on the operation. Nothing else. Cristina could wait.

---------------------------------------------------

_She could feel herself lying on the cold floor but couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't feel anything else and all she could see was black. She couldn't move or speak. She couldn't shout for help or cry or sob. She had no control over her body. She was panicking. She was confused and scared and lonely. She was terribly cold and, if she could, she'd be shivering. Cristina couldn't feel anything. She could only feel the cold, cold floor and sense that she was unbearably alone.  
_  
---------------------------------------------------

Alex neared the suture room, still miffed about Addison sending him here. He didn't understand why she couldn't do it herself. She sometimes acted as if she owned him. He knew that she was his superior, but no-one _owned _Alex Karev.

The suture room door was open a crack. He looked around him, thinking it strange for someone to leave it like that. He could see through the gap that it was dark inside. Someone had shut the blinds. That was also strange since, as no-one was occupying the room, there was no reason for them to be closed. He put his ear to the door thinking that someone might be in there. He didn't want to interrupt anything. He knew what kind of stuff went on in this hospital behind closed -or in this case, open - doors. Hearing nothing, the cleared his throat and knocked on the wood.

"Anyone in here?" He asked quietly. He was already getting weird looks from the nurses and other passers-by. He got no reply and was starting to feel really stupid. He pushed the door open slightly but stopped a little before half way. Something had caught his attention. Izzie was rushing down the corridor in front of him. She looked as if she was in hurry and was coming straight in his direction. He flashed her a smile, expecting her to stop and talk to him. Instead, she carried on straight past him, turning around to  
frown at him inquisitively, then carry on down the hall. He pulled a face at her back. She was obviously caught up in something more important than him. Maybe she had heard news of a new male heart patient. Maybe some wires to cut.

He turned back to the door and rolled his eyes. He straightened himself up and pushed.

The door hit something soft. It was hard to make out what it was in the dim light at first. Then his eyes started to adjust to the darkness. His breath caught in his throat as he quickly flicked on the light switch with panic, hoping that what he thought he saw wasn't really what he was seeing.

Unfortunately, the new light only brought confirmation.

--------------------------------------------

_Her other senses must have been returning because she could now hear. At first it was just one voice. Shouting. Then, not long afterwards, there were more. Quite a few more. They all had panic in their voices. She wondered what was wrong. What was going on? Was someone hurt? Her sense of feel  
returned. Suddenly, there were hands on her. Lot's of warm hands all over her. She tried to push them away but still couldn't move. Now that she could feel again, hands weren't the only thing that she was aware of. She could also feel pain. Immense pain. Spreading through her whole body from her stomach, as if it was leaking acid and burning away at her insides. She wanted to cry out. She wanted to break out into sobs. But fate was spiting her. She couldn't control her body. Instead, she tried to focus on something other than the pain. She listened to the voices to try and get an idea of what was going on._

She'd figured that the fuss was about her. She was almost glad. At least she wasn't alone anymore. She picked up a few words. Most of them were all jumbled together, as if they were speaking gibberish. Some of them were recognisable. Some of them frightened her. Some of them confused her. But none of them really mattered to her. None of them except for two. Two that she kept hearing over and over. So many times she wasn't sure if the was imagining them, thinking them or hearing them.

The only two words that occupied her mind at that point in time were 'Burke' and 'baby'. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake.

Burke cut Mrs. Langham open as soon as they were in the OR. He wasn't sure what exactly he was looking for but with her previous history Burke knew that he would find something wrong with Barbara's heart. Though this time he wasn't so sure. This time, she also had a head injury. That was why Shepherd was involved. She'd hit her head on her way down when she'd collapsed so now she had two injuries to deal with. They'd done scans of her head and heart and not seen anything that shouldn't be there but there were some things that didn't show up on scans.

While Burke looked around in this all too familiar heart, Derek stood back to observe. He would have his chance to explore her head later, though he wasn't too happy that he had to wait until Burke was finished. They weren't even sure if the problem was in the heart or not and by the time Burke would be finished with his exploratory surgery it could be too late and she could have completely bled out into her skull. Shepherd himself was convinced that the problem with Mrs. Langham was an intracranial bleed. She had hit her head and it would also explain the symptoms, though it didn't usually take this long for them to kick in it could have been a very slow bleed. After what seemed like an hour, but probably wasn't, Derek finally grew too impatient and spoke up.

"Are you nearly done Dr. Burke?" He asked as pleasantly as he could. He knew Burke didn't like him when he was pushy.

Burke replied with a quick shake of the head. He was too deep in concentration to muster up anything verbal. He had bonded with Mrs. Langham and wasn't willing to let her die so he was pulling out all the stops for her, but first he had to find out what was wrong with her.

Derek stayed silent for as long as he could. Then he heaved an impatient sigh and asked again. This time, Burke replied with something more than a shake of the head.

"No, Dr. Shepherd. I am not done and the more you keep asking, the longer it will take."

Shepherd didn't back down so easily this time. "It's just," he started, noticing Burke's body tense up with what was probably frustration and aggravation. "Well, you've been digging around in there for a long time now and you haven't found anything. I doubt you will. I need to take a look at her head because that's probably where the problem is."

The nurses and other staff in the room looked from Burke to Shepherd sensing some kind of argument coming. Burke's eye's flickered with something quickly then it went away as suddenly as it had come.

"So...?" Derek pushed on. He was not prepared to wait any longer. Burke was acting like one of those stubborn selfish children who hog the best toy because they're bigger.

"So what Shepherd?" Burke answered, still tinkering in Barbara's chest. He still wasn't ready to hand her over to Shepherd and he wouldn't be ready until he was absolutely certain that there was nothing wrong with her heart.

"So are you going to close her up so I can take a look at her head or-?"

"You wait your turn!" Burke interrupted. He was really getting fed up with Derek. He was annoying him and, worse than that, he was distracting him.

Shepherd was about to answer back when Barbara suddenly flat lined. Everyone snapped into action, doing as much as they could to help.

No-one could locate the source of the sudden deterioration and their attempts were in vain. They didn't manage to get Mrs Langham's heart beating again.

"Time of death," Burke sighed sadly looking at his watch. He kept telling himself he'd done as much as he could but nothing could shake the feeling that he was completely responsible. "19:57." He shook his head slowly and left the OR to clean his hands. He could see Shepherd watching him out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't be bothered to care. He was tired, he was upset and he was feeling guilty for a woman's death.

And, as if his day hadn't been bad enough already, he now had to tell a newly-married young woman that her mother had just died. As if his day hadn't been bad enough already.

----------------------------------------

As Cristina was lifted onto a gurney, Alex barked out orders to the gathering, concerned-looking hospital staff. He was genuinely worried for Cristina too. They weren't close. But they were interns, she was a fellow intern and she had helped him every once in a while. Especially when he'd needed to re-take his exams. He was scared for her and her baby. And right now, he was in charge. Until further authority  
came, he was the boss of these people and he wasn't about to mess up. Not with Cristina's life on the line. Not hers or her babies.

"You," he said, pointing to a nurse. She practically jumped at the urgency in his voice. "Page Addison Shepherd. Tell her what's happening. And you," he looked at another. "I need a monitor to get her BP." They wheeled her into a lift as other people rushed around doing their set tasks. "Right, we need to go straight to pre-op." He added. He was surprised at how convincing his voice sounded. To be honest, he had no idea whether to go to pre-op or not. He was just saying whatever came into his head. The lift stopped and they went to pre-op as he had said.

Addison arrived shortly after them. The nurse had obviously failed to mention that this urgent patient was Cristina because as soon as she saw Cristina lying on the hospital bed Addison's face fell.

"Oh God." She said quietly to herself. "Not again." She was already hating this situation. It was the second time Cristina's life had been put in her hands and the previous time, she had lost the baby.

"I found her unconscious in a suture room." Alex panted, out of breath from running there but glad that the weight of being in charge was now lifted off his shoulders. "I don't know how long she was there for..." He shook his head slowly. Addison nodded quickly and then got to work. She did a couple of quick tests and a scan.

"Oh no..." She shook her head and pointed at the image on the screen of the scan. "Look at that." She said to Alex. "We need to get her to the OR now. She's bleeding out. This baby may not survive." She shook her head again. It wasn't right for Cristina to lose another baby even if she didn't want the first one. There's only so much loss that one can go through.

They prepared Cristina for surgery and then went straight in. They didn't have time to waste. Addison seemed almost frantic during the whole first half of the operation. Alex looked on anxiously. When Addison had calmed down a bit, he asked;

"Is she going to be okay?" He was surprised at his own voice again. This time because it sounded so small and child-like.

"She's lost a lot of blood..." Addison told him frowning and shaking her head. "I can't seem to stop it fully... I'm not sure we can leave it like this... but I can't do anything with this baby in the way..." She shook her head again and sighed. "The baby is in danger if we just leave it and Cristina's body is under too much stress." Addison bit down on her lip, deep in thought. She finally came to a conclusion, though she wasn't happy with it, it was all they could do without both of them dying. She breathed in  
deeply and then told Alex; "We're going to have to deliver the baby." 


	5. Chapter 5

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake.

"We're going to have to deliver the baby." Addison stated knowingly just as Bailey hurried into the room with the same worried expression on her face as everyone else.

"Deliver it?... Now?" Alex asked not noticing Bailey's entrance.

"She's not far enough along, Addison." Bailey told her, making her presence noticed. "She's only six months along. She's hardly got a bump." She added looking down at Cristina lying on the operating table for the second time. She'd grown closer to Cristina after the first time, seeing someone- who  
looked up to her and practically worshipped her- going through all that agony and losing a child had gotten to her. Cristina was one of her interns. _Her_ interns.

"I know..." Addison replied. She seemed to be contemplating something. She was biting down on her lip so hard that she would probably soon draw blood. "But if we don't... they'll both die."

Bailey looked at the floor. This situation was becoming unbearable and she had only just got there. Everyone downstairs was talking about it. She hoped that her other interns hadn't found out yet. She knew that if they had, they'd be too distracted with their work. She also hoped that Burke hadn't found out yet. Then it dawned on her. The man probably didn't know that his girlfriend and baby's lives were hanging in the balance. He was probably in the middle of an operation, planning what to make her for  
dinner. He was probably completely clueless.

"Right." Said Addison. She was finally ready and sure that this was the right thing to do. "I'm going to start. Alex can you get any specialist you can? We need anyone we can get on stand-by for this." Alex did as he was told and rushed out of the OR. "Miranda, I know you probably want to stay but I need you to go and find Preston. He should be here in case..." She trailed off not wanting to think of what could happen. Bailey hesitated and then headed for the door reluctantly. Addison breathed in and prepared herself. She tried to get as focused as possible. Then she took a hold of her scalpel and made the first incision.

-------

Alex didn't really know where he was going. He didn't know what Addison meant by 'specialists' and he wasn't sure where he could find them. He tried asking nurses and doctors but they were all too busy and caught up in their own things to take any notice of him. He almost gave up when he realised why  
he was doing this. Reality finally set in. Cristina, an intern-one of them, was having a child three months early after losing one fallopian tube already. He pulled himself together and went to the people he knew would help.

George sat in a random, abandoned wheelchair while Meredith and Izzie lounged on the un-used hospital beds. They were all here in their 'hide-out'. This was the only place they could think without senior members of staff breathing down their necks. Each one of them had their noses in books and was  
writing notes in their own notebooks. They didn't notice Alex as he quickly approached them and judging from the calm, composed atmosphere down there they hadn't heard about Cristina.

"I need specialists." He said suddenly to the group when he was close enough. He needed to get straight to the point. He didn't have time to explain. Izzie jumped at his voice and looked up from her book. Meredith finished writing whatever it was that she was writing and then looked at him as well. George's eyes stayed fixed on his book though he spoke up anyway.

"Specialists?" He asked. He carried on surveying the page he was on, then turned it over and looked up.

"I need specialists!" Alex said again. "Quickly... Now..." He added between his quick breaths. He was starting to panic again. This was taking too long. He was taking too long. The baby could have already been delivered by now. What if it had? Addison would be waiting on him. The baby could be dying. It  
could be in need of... specialists. He really didn't have time for all of this.

"What kind of specialist?" Meredith asked patronisingly as if he was a child asking for a toy car.

"Just... specialists! Any specialists! Any we can find." Alex rushed on looking at them desperately. He considered telling them what was going on but surely that would take too long. They'd start asking questions and panicking. No, he couldn't tell them. Not yet.

"We?" Izzie asked smiling. "Alex, we're busy. Go find your specialists yourself."

Alex looked at Meredith. She nodded at him to say that she was busy too. George did the same.

"You guys don't understand!" He said, exasperatedly. "I need your help. It's an emergency. We don't have time to waste."

The others were starting to realise the urgency- and maybe fear- in his voice. Meredith closed her book and hopped off the bed she was on, much to Alex's relief. George stood from the wheelchair and Izzie reluctantly got to her feet as well.

"Good." Alex smiled weakly. "Follow me." He ordered leading them toward the door. They followed wondering what they'd gotten themselves into. Behind his back they exchanged curious and confused glances until George finally asked;

"Hey, Alex. What is it we need these specialists for exactly?"

Alex stopped walking and turned around. He was going to have to tell them sooner or later. They looked at him with curiosity all over their faces. "Um... Addison is delivering a preemie. She wants anyone she can get." He nodded, pleased with himself. He had told them the situation, just not all  
the details. He turned back around and started walking again. He hoped that that would be the last of the questions. Or at least for now.

"Say, Alex," This time it was Meredith. He was hoping she wouldn't make up an excuse to avoid Addison. "I thought you hated Addison." She said looking at his back strangely.

"Well, yeah." Alex confirmed. He didn't stop walking or turn around. "But this is a case. Peoples lives. I'm not gonna let my hatred for her get in the way of that."

Now everyone was looking at his back strangely. What the hell was he on about? Since when did he not hate Addison and why did he care about this case so much? Why was he so involved?

"Alright Alex," Izzie said. She'd had enough of his weirdness. She needed the answers to all these questions inside her mind. "What's going on?"

"I told you." Alex said, still walking. Every once in a while he'd stop and check a hospital room, looking for a 'specialist'. "Preemie." He could tell that no-one was buying it. "It's a premature baby. You really think I want it to die?"

"Alex, turn around." Ordered Meredith. Alex didn't do as she said. "Just stop. For a second." Alex sighed but complied.

"We really don't have time-."

"What's going on Alex?" Meredith interrupted. Alex never acted like this and she was starting to get worried.

Alex looked around awkwardly, only making her more suspicious. "I told you, I-"

"No. What's really going on?"

Alex sighed. He could see that there was no way of getting out of this. All this questioning was holding them up. His best option was to tell them the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but. He bit his lip and tried to think of the best way to put it.

"Alex?" Izzie asked impatiently. She was finally realising that something serious was going on. For the first time she was noticing the absence of Cristina. She put two and two together and gasped inwardly. Alex saw the look on her face and knew that she had worked it out. He nodded at her in confirmation and then, for those who didn't know, he told the group gravely;

"It's Cristina."

-------------------------------------------------------

Burke watched Shirley Langham Kirkby with her new husband, Robert. She seemed happy, blissfully happy and unaware that she'd never see her mother smile or laugh again. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. She had just gotten married. That was why Burke was standing at the other end of the corridor. Watching. He couldn't bring himself to tell this young woman that her mother was gone forever. It ceased to amaze him that this part of the job never got easier.

"You haven't told her yet?" Shepherd asked, coming out of nowhere. Burke knew that this wasn't really a question. It was more of a statement. Shepherd looked at him impatiently as if he was in charge.

"Why can't you tell her?" Burke asked. He really didn't want to do it.

"Because I had nothing to do with the surgery. I didn't even touch a scalpel."

Burke sighed inwardly. It was true. And now he had no excuse not to tell Mrs. Kirkby the bad news. He slowly started walking toward the couple. Mr. Kirkby noticed him coming so he picked up the pace and arrived in front of them in a matter of seconds.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kirkby," Burke greeted. "Please, take a seat." He gestured to the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. Neither did as he suggested.

"How's my mother? Is she out of surgery? Did you find out what was wrong with her?" Shirley bombarded him with questions. Her husband stood slightly behind her nodding and agreeing with whatever she asked.

"Please. Sit." Burke said. They must have noticed something in his eyes because their expressions suddenly changed.

"What's wrong Dr. Burke?" Robert spoke up.

Burke sighed knowing that he wouldn't get them to sit down. "I'm afraid there were some complications." He told them. He decided to tell them as gently but to-the-point as he could. "Before I could finish exploring her heart she stopped breathing." Shirley brought her hand to her lips. She knew  
what was coming. "Her heart stopped beating and we couldn't get it to start again. I'm very sorry." Burke said truthfully. "Your mother passed away a few minutes ago."

Shirley's bottom lip quivered slightly. She buried her face in her husband's chest and gripped his shirt desperately. Her back shook as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Unable to watch anymore and feeling unwelcome, Burke turned and walked away. Shepherd was still where he had left him. Except now he was with Bailey. She was waving her hands around to emphasize whatever it was she was saying. She looked scared or worried or panicking. Maybe all of them. Burke couldn't tell from where he was. Shepherd looked the same except a bit less, or maybe he could just contain his feelings better. He was running a hand through his hair and shaking his head slowly. Bailey stopped talking and looked at Shepherd as if waiting for a response. Derek nodded and suddenly his head turned in Burke's direction. Their eyes interlocked. Bailey's followed Derek's. They both stared at him awhile. Burke stopped walking.

He had a feeling his bad day was about to get worse.


	6. Chapter 6

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake. 

Once those words had left Alex's mouth all of the interns knew fully how serious this situation was.

"Cristina's having the baby?" George asked with disbelief. Alex nodded and looked away. This was tense. He could tell by the look on Meredith's face that she was still trying to comprehend the information she had just heard. Her best friend was having a baby three months early. Something had obviously gone wrong with the pregnancy. Both her best-friend and her best-friends baby could die. The baby's chances were slim.

This baby was at week twenty-two. If it lived past a few seconds out of the womb it would have breathing problems problem caused by immature lungs. Infants born before 26 weeks have the greatest risk of long-term disability, cerebral palsy, blindness and hearing loss. The chances of it surviving weren't just slim, they hardly existed at all.

This was all too hard to take in. Cristina had been normal that morning. They'd been chatting like they would on any other normal day. She hadn't said anything was wrong; they'd talked about normal things, their normal lives, the normal things that were going on. But this, this was not normal. And she got the feeling that from that day on, whatever happened, things weren't going to be normal again for quite a while, if ever.

"Now can we find these specialists?" Alex reminded them. They were still standing in the same spot and time was running out. "We can't let this baby die." He told them as if it was that simple. They all knew the kind of complications a premature baby this small could face. Babies born before twenty-two weeks virtually never survive.

------------------------------------------------

For a couple of seconds, the three just stood where they were and looked from one to another. For now, and only for a few more seconds, Burke was completely oblivious. Both Derek and Bailey hated the fact that they knew what they knew and that one of them would have to tell a friend and respected surgeon that his partner and child's lives were both hanging in the balance.

Those few seconds of still regret, reluctance and ignorance passed. Bailey, although she seemed to be completely unwilling to do it, tore her eyes away from Burke for a second and said something quickly and quietly to Derek. Derek nodded and started to walk away in the other direction but not before giving Burke one more glance, his face showing all the support it could. Bailey watched him go and then turned back to Burke who was already feeling tense. He told himself to snap out of it. He was being paranoid. Nothing had happened. Nothing was going on. Just stupid paranoia. Stupid paranoia. Bailey suddenly started to walk toward him and he was instantly 'paranoid' again. She arrived in front of him in a matter of seconds. Her eyes darted from the floor to behind him to his eyes and all over the place.

"Dr. Bailey." Burke greeted as calmly as he could. Nothing had happened. Nothing was going on. "What were you talking to Shepherd about?" He wasn't being paranoid. Just... curious. Bailey looked around a bit more and then her eyes fixed on something non-existent behind him. She couldn't bring herself to look at him in the eyes right now. She had known him for a long time. They were close. She could tell how madly in love he was with Cristina and couldn't bear to see the hurt look on his face when she broke the news. She still hadn't even figured out what she was going to say to him. Was she  
going to do it slowly and gently or just put it out there, tell him straight?

"Dr. Burke I..." She started but didn't know what else to say. "Maybe we should talk somewhere more private." She was currently doing anything to avoid the subject at hand. She could see Burke was about to protest. He would probably ask why, so she took hold of his arm and started to walk him down the hall. She found a quieter spot, much to her dismay. No more avoiding it now.

"Maybe you should sit down." She suggested. Burke remembered how he'd said the same thing to Shirley just a few minutes earlier. Now he was getting worried. Not paranoid. Worried. This wasn't normal. Something had happened. Something was going on. Like Shirley had, he ignored the suggestion and stayed on his feet.

"Okay..." said Bailey. She had to do this now. Burke needed to be with Cristina and maybe even the baby. "Cristina..." the second the word left her mouth Burkes expression changed completely. He had already looked fretful but now he looked almost terrified. "She... Addison needs to deliver the baby." She spat out. She would never forget Burkes face as those final words came out. It seemed drained of all colour. His eyes looked dead. He was shaking his head slowly from side to side.

"But... It's too early." He told her. Bailey could tell it hadn't sunk in yet. His expression was blank. Then he frowned confused. His breathing became heavy. It was finally dawning on him. "Bailey, it's too early." He said again. He brought a hand to his mouth. "The baby won't live….Cristina. Is she okay? Oh God…." He put his hands on his hips and breathed in deeply as he looked up in a vain attempt to stop the tears. He expected his mind to be racing but at that point in time he could only think  
one thing. Why was this happening?

**A/N:** First note so far. What do you think? You likey? I hope so. Review and you'll be my favourite person forever. :P 


	7. Chapter 7

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake.

**A/N: **The beginning is a bit rubbish and rushed because I've been unbelievably and unexpectedly busy recently. All things said, I hope you enjoy. Sorry it's taken so long.

With all available specialists notified of the situation and on their way to the OR the interns felt both relieved and apprehensive. They had taken a considerably long time to get them and, although Addison was the best out there, this baby was already in need of a miracle. At the same time they were relieved that the responsibility of helping to save their friends life was off their hands. It was now up to the surgeons of Seattle Grace to save both Cristina and her baby.

Once their task was done they didn't hesitate to go straight to where Cristina was being operated on. Not a word was spoken as they quickly made their way to the OR where Bailey was already waiting for them. She had just notified Burke of the situation and, from the distraught look on her face, it hadn't gone down very well. The interns knew straight away from the 'no nonsense' glare she was sending their way, that she wasn't going to let them in to see Cristina. Meredith knew all too well to what lengths she would go to keep them all out.

She recalled the conversation they'd had last time Cristina was in a situation like this. She remembered how Bailey had threatened to 'take her down' if she tried to enter the theatre in which Cristina was being operated on. She also remembered the awful anxiety and worry she experienced waiting for news of her friends condition. But this time it was worse. This time it was a lot worse. Not only did Cristina want the baby this time but, unlike before, Burke was involved and also wanted the baby. If he lost it, and if he lost her, Meredith knew that he would never come back from the devastation and grief it would cause. He would never be the same confident surgeon he was now. He would be half the man he was now. He would never be 'the best' again.

Meredith wondered where Burke was. He must have been told by now what was going on, and it was highly doubtful that they would let him in to the operating room during Cristina's surgery. She wondered if the news had been too much for him to handle. He was usually a calm and collected man but Meredith had seen him lose his cool front on one or two occasions. She was abruptly brought out of her ponderings when she heard George's raised voice. She had been too caught up in her thoughts to notice that they had reached the OR door and that the others were currently arguing with Bailey about being able to go in.

"You can't make us stay out here and just… wait!" George was saying to an unimpressed Bailey. Today had already been bad enough without having to argue with her interns. "You're treating this as if _she's _not Cristina. As if she's not our friend and just another patient."

"That's because right now she's _not_ your friend. She _is_ a patient and she deserves to have all the privacy I can give her." Bailey retaliated. Her words similar to those she had used last time Cristina was pregnant. "You're not going in there." She stated simply, almost daring them to tell her otherwise.

George and the others didn't look pleased but they could tell that there was no way Bailey would change her mind. They reluctantly backed down. The five of them stood in silence for a while, each wrapped up in their own thoughts, before Izzie spoke suddenly.

"Mer," She said quietly but loud enough for the others to hear. "You're her 'person', right? She would have told you if she knew something was wrong."

Meredith didn't say a word. Slightly confused, she nodded in reply.

"Did she? Tell you anything was wrong?" Izzie continued sounding unsure of herself. "Because…. It's just… she's a surgeon. She must've… she must've felt _something_. People don't just collapse." She paused for a moment, looking hesitant to continue. She plucked up the courage and asked; "How much did she want this baby? Like, _really _want it."

"Izzie…" Alex warned, knowing what she was suggesting.

"What I'm trying to say," Izzie continued, ignoring Alex. "Is that if she cared so much about it, wouldn't she have gone and been checked out the second she felt…wrong? She already knew that there were some risks and what kind of expectant mother doesn't check-?"

"Stevens." Bailey interrupted, slightly appalled at where Izzie's questions were going. "Quiet."

Izzie didn't take the hint. "All I'm saying is-."

"All you're saying is that Cristina, what, did this on purpose?!" Meredith shouted, speaking for the first time since finding specialists. "How could you even _think_ something like that?! You're supposed to be her friend! She's at a time when she needs us most and you're doubting her!" Meredith was about to crack. Her best friend was between life and death with her boyfriend nowhere in sight and a baby unlikely to live and people were already doubting her. She knew that sometimes Cristina could be cold, but there was no way she would ever do anything like that. Since meeting Burke she had changed for the better. Some people just hadn't realised that yet.

Izzie began to defend herself but Meredith was barely listening. Before long all five of them were in a heated argument outside the OR door. Shouting erupted and no-one seemed to be listening to what everyone else was saying. Bailey was busy trying to get the situation under control but none of them took any notice. They just shouted above each other and above her.

Silence fell suddenly amongst the group as the OR door opened. Addison stepped out slowly, her eyes grim but expression unreadable. She closed the door behind her she looked at each face in front of her. She could almost feel the tension and anxiety radiating off them and she could tell that they needed information now.

The group in front of her looked at her expectantly. She was opening her mouth to tell them the situation when she noticed the absence of Burke. He needed to be here for this news. And she wasn't going to tell anyone what had gone on in that operating room before she told Burke. But she had to find him first.

Come to think of it, where _was_ Burke?

**A/N2: **Indeed. Once again, I'm sorry it took so long to update but my orchestra had a concert and I've spent the whole week rehearsing. The performance was last night though so that's all over with now and I've got 2 weeks off school now for Easter so… expect frequent updates. :D I know this chap was kinda rubbish but… Review? Oh, and definately more focus on Burke coming up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake.

**A/N: **_WARNING This chapter is really short and sucks a lot. I'll be updating soon with the next chapter. It will be longer and better. Promise. _

People expected things from him. They expected him to be able to handle this situation just because he was usually so good at keeping his cool. They expected him to be there for Cristina because, so far through their relationship, he had been. They expected him to be able to face this problem head-on and not be afraid. But they were expecting too much from him. Right now he was scared out of his mind. He wasn't ready for the choices and heart-ache he knew awaited him and he most certainly wasn't ready to become a father. He had been preparing himself for a baby but he wasn't ready yet. And now the possibility that the baby he had been preparing for may never come… It was all too much for him to handle. He needed to get away from it all.

He would have gone to 'Joe's' but people knew him there. They would notice him and ask him questions. Questions he had been asking himself since finding out what was going on. Questions he didn't know the answer to. He would have stayed in the relatives' room but he didn't feel as if he belonged there. Obviously no-one _belonged _there but being in one of the hospitals uncomfortable plastic chairs felt indescribably wrong. He would have stayed with Cristina if he could but Bailey gave him a death stare that told him that there was no way it was going to happen. So he ran away. Not literally and not to far away. He just escaped for a while.

He went to an on-call room. He turned off the lights, sat on a bed, buried his head in his hands and tried as hard as he could to erase the past few minutes. He tried to go back to all the good times he'd ever had with Cristina but thinking of them just made him wonder how life would be if he lost her. He couldn't imagine life without her. He had envisioned growing old with her and being with her for the rest of their lives. Now there was a chance that would never happen. How was he supposed to deal with that?

Another thought hit him. If Cristina did die his last words to her would have been so horrible. She would die thinking that he hated her. Burke realised he needed to be there for his girlfriend in case the worst were to happen. He pulled himself together, starting to understand that right now it wasn't about him or if he was ready or if what people expected of him, it was about Cristina and their baby.


	9. Chapter 9

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake.

"Where is Preston?" asked Addison. Bailey and her interns just shrugged and looked around as if only just noticing his absence.

"How's Cristina?" Alex asked. He wasn't bothered by the fact that Burke wasn't there. He just wanted to know if Cristina was okay. All of them wanted to know. They needed to be told whether their friend and her baby were still alive. The only person there who could tell them was keeping them in suspense. She was asking a question instead of answering the one on all of their minds; What happened in that OR? It seemed as if she was trying to avoid the subject and use Burke's whereabouts as a distraction as she prolonged the agonising wait for news. And if that was the case then the verdict could not be good.

"Preston should be the first to know." Addison stated simply. She knew she was killing them with anxiety but it was only right that Burke was told the news first. She had to treat this situation as if it was with any other patient.

"Know what?!" Meredith pushed. She was dying for some answers.

"Does anyone have any idea where he might be?" Addison ignored Meredith's question.

Bailey was about to say something when Burke came sprinting towards them. He was out of breath as if he had run all the way there.

"H…how…are they?" Ha asked Addison between gulps of air.

"Come with me." She replied taking his arm and leading him out of hearing range of the others. She wanted them to have the privacy they deserved without getting to far away.

"So?" He demanded once they had stopped walking. He was finally managing to get his breath back but his stomach was churning with apprehension.

Addison prepared herself to give him the news. Like anyone else in medicine, she had always hated this part of the job. Even when she was delivering good news and as she was being thanked by relatives and friends of those the had saved she would wonder and think about those she hadn't been able to save. Those who may have been more deserving. It was especially hard in her line of work because she was working with mothers and babies. They were always the worst patients to lose.

"So," she began. She glanced quickly over Burke's shoulder and saw Bailey and her interns staring right at her as if they were trying to read her lips from the other and of the corridor. George was trying to peek through the small window on the OR door and Izzie looked as if she was trying her hardest to hear what Addison was saying. Alex looked troubled; probably haunted by the image of Cristina's lifeless body as he found her and Meredith had an expression of worry on her face. Bailey looked as if she was trying to stay cool but failing miserably. Addison could see the fear in her eyes even from such a distance away. Fear of losing one of _her _interns. As if she felt responsible for what happened. As if maybe if she'd tried harder to get Cristina off work this never would have happened.

Addison continued. The others watched, frozen with anticipation.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I wonder what she's saying." Said Izzie as all five of them watched Addison's lips intently. She strained to hear what she was saying but it was impossible. She had put a lot of distance between them.

"It would help if Burke was facing us." Said George. "Then we'd be able to see his reaction." All they could see from their positions was his back which, they could see, was very tense.

"Did you see anything through the window?" Alex asked George without taking his eyes off Addison.

"Nothing." George replied disappointed.

"This sucks." Said Meredith. She hated not knowing how Cristina was.

Addison finished talking to Burke. The others looked for anything in their body language that would tell them what they hadn't heard. Burke's shoulders were slumped and his head bowed. Addison placed a hand on his shoulder and spoke solemnly.

This time, they were all able to read her lips. And none of them liked what they saw.

"Did she just say she was sorry?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So," said Addison. Burke waited anxiously for her to tell him what was going on. He noticed she was looking over his shoulder but did not turn around. He looked her straight in the eye. Her focus remained on whatever was behind him for a second longer. Then she looked up at Burke and continued.

"Cristina lost a lot of blood." She told him. He tensed visibly. That was usually the kind of thing he said before telling someone that their loved one had passed away. "But we managed to get it under control." Addison continued. She noticed that Burke relaxed a little. "Unfortunately, by then her womb was so badly damaged there was no way the baby could live if we left it in there." She paused to give him time to process the information. "We delivered it." She told him when she thought he was ready. "And _he _is alive." Burke smiled slightly. He knew not to get his hopes up but he remembered how much Cristina wanted a boy. Addison carried on. "As you know, the risks are high and given how early he's been born and also Cristina's previous operation I'm afraid that the chances of him living are… extremely slim."

Burke already knew this but having it confirmed was like a knife to the heart. He wondered how this would affect Cristina. She'd probably ignore it. Keep her feelings bottled up inside until it caused her to crack. She'd have some kind of mental breakdown. Then the breakdown of their relationship. They would never recover and he-… was getting far too ahead of himself.

Addison put her hand on his shoulder supportively. "I am so sorry." She told him truthfully.

All Burke could do was nod in acknowledgement. "Can I see them?" He asked wanting nothing more than to fall to his knees and cry. In his face and in his voice eyes he had given up trying to mask the anguish and devastation. He let his shoulders hang and his eyes fill with tears.

"Of course you can." She barely managed as she failed to keep back tears of her own.

**A/N: **This is probably the fastest I have ever updated. Go me! Happy Easter Monday everyone! I'd just like to take the time to thank: **nikkitan89, cheetalady95, Ladyforga72, CrystalTears730, Burkeluva, burktinafan, desecretperson, ChapiChapo, A-lyz, scaryand damaged, nvcgemini and –eMiiLYx3 **for reviewing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake.

Addison took Burke straight to Cristina's room but before sending one last apologetic glance in the direction o f the other at the end of the hall. She was sorry she couldn't give them the information they needed right away but her priority was Burke. She couldn't allow Burke to visit his son right away. The baby was too fragile and they were still working on keeping him breathing. Burke could, however, sit beside his girlfriend. They both needed each other for support. Recovery would not be easy for either of them and if they weren't able to be there and help each other through it, neither would be the same ever again.

The journey to Cristina's room was silent. The whole hospital seemed to be enveloped in the gloomy atmosphere. Although few members of staff at Seattle Grace viewed Cristina as a friend, everyone was upset by the tragedy of the situation. And everyone valued Preston Burke as an outstanding surgeon and an overall good guy. No-one, especially not him, deservedwhat had happened. People gave him supportive glances as he walked by them. News of what had happened must have spread fast through the hospital.

Addison finally stopped in the hallway outside a room with the door shut and blinds closed. She gave Preston a look as if to say 'Are you ready?' and, after receiving a nod in reply, she reached for the door handle.

Burke wasn't sure what to expect. This wasn't his field of work. He didn't know whether Cristina would be awake and if not for how long would she be out and would she remember what had happened and would she be in pain? He wanted to ask all these questions as they bounced around in his mind. But first he had to see Cristina. That was his priority.

As Addison opened the door the first thing he noticed was that Cristina, his powerful girlfriend, the confident and stubborn woman he was madly in love with, looked so small and fragile in that hospital bed. She was pale and deadly still under her blanket. Her eyes were closed. She had a tube in her arm and and IV. There were more machines surrounding her, beeping and dinging- hellish sounds straight out of some kind of futuristic nightmare.

Burke was by her side in an instant, stroking her hair with one hand and holding her hand with the other. He clung to her desperately not wanting to ever let go. He leaned down and kissed her gently on the cheek with tears welling up in his eyes. He forced them back wanting to stay strong for her. He sat down on the chair that had been placed beside the bed as Addison and the nurse who had already been in the room left the couple alone.

Burke squeezed Cristina's hand in both of his wanting her to know that she wasn't alone. He wanted her to know that she didn't have to worry. He wanted her to be sure that he was there for her and he would always be there. He wanted her to know that he was sorry for what he had said to her and that that could make it through this together. He wanted her to know what he couldn't express just by squeezing her hand.

He didn't know if she could hear him or not but he started to talk to her anyway in a low hushed voice. So low it was almost a whisper. He started to tell her that everything would be fine, that he was there and it would all get better. He thought that if he willed it enough, she _would _hear him.

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Net went down. :P enjoy!


	11. Chapter 11

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake.

In the back of her mind she could hear a voice. A whisper. So quiet she couldn't be sure if she was really hearing it or just imagining it. Regardless, she clung onto it with all her strength because, besides the darkness, it was all she had. The whisper was all that could assure her that she was still alive.

She had no idea where she was or what was going on or why she could see only black. She was in total darkness and had been for quite a while. It had occurred to her, before the whisper, that she could be dead. The thought still crossed her mind. Maybe the whisper was God or whoever else she might meet in the after life. For a moment, she thought it could be her father but the thought disappeared as quickly as it had entered her mind. She tried not to panic as she noticed that she was numb all over and couldn't move. She couldn't even open her eyes. Panic was replaced by confusion which was quickly replaced by anger and a complete sense of vulnerability as she realised she had no control.

Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts swirling violently around her head. The only thing keeping her sane was he whisper. But even that she couldn't understand. It sounded hollow and echoed as if being spoken from a distance.

She started to get her senses back. It started out as tingling and it was only until she felt the throbbing in her middle that she realised she was regaining some feeling. This caused more confusion. She was now certain she wasn't dead and although the whisper was clearer, it was still making no sense. She didn't understand why she was hurting and hoped that she would have some answers soon.

Her eyes, though closed, were aching and the blood in her head seemed to be pounding its way around her brain, hammering at her skull. Lights started to dance on the back of her eyelids; blues greens and white. She tried to ignore them and think clearly, focusing on the whisper. It was a calm soothing voice with and edge of promise. It was then that she realised who it belonged to. Burke. Of course. Who else would it be? Who else could express such sincerity and comfort when they talk even if the words weren't understandable? It was definitely Burke and knowing that relieved her. At least now she knew that she was safe.

But some questions were still unanswered. She had figured out the whisper but there was a lot more that needed questioning. She still had no idea where she was or what was happening. She thought for a second that it could be a dream but the throbbing of her abdomen, becoming more and more forceful, begged to differ.

Suddenly, it all became clear. She thought of her abdomen and how wrong it felt. Not just because it was hurting but because it was lighter and felt different to how she remembered. Then she remembered her argument with Burke and also the horrible things she had said to him in the suture room. The suture room. She had been in the suture room. She remembered that. They fought, Burke left and then…. She couldn't remember. Everything else was unclear. But she was now sure that it had something to do with the baby.

She started to panic knowing she would never forgive herself if something happened to their baby. It was her fault. She'd killed her first baby and now she may have done it again. Although she didn't want the first one it still affected her when she lost it. Now she couldn't imagine what she'd do if she'd done it again. She and Burke had been looking forward to having a child of their own. She didn't want to think about what would happen if they lost it.

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Exhausted from the surgery she had just performed, the heart-break she had witnessed and the thought of the labour up ahead, Addison Shepherd headed back to where Cristina and Burkes' baby was being treated. All she could think about was how tragic the day's events had been. No mother deserved to lose an unborn child. Especially not twice. And she knew too well that babies rarely survived under these circumstances. If it did it would probably be hooked to machines for its whole painful life or have a disability that required twenty-four hour care. Cristina and Burke would have to leave their jobs and give everything up. Through the whole hospital, they were probably the ones who valued their jobs the most. To have to give them up would surely drive them insane.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of many hastily approaching feet. Behind her, Bailey and her interns were moving towards her. They still had no idea how Cristina or her baby were after Addison's swift exit with Burke downstairs. They were slightly angry for having to track Addison down and also at the fact that she had side-lined them as if they weren't close enough to Cristina to be told what had happened. They were also determined and yet quite apprehensive to find out.

Once they reached Addison who had stopped when she'd noticed them coming, Meredith was the first to speak.

"Tell us what's going on." She said trying to sound demanding but it came out almost like a plead. She was desperate to find out how her friend was and she wasn't about to let Addison get away without telling her.

Addison knew there was no getting out of telling them this time. She had to go and take care of the baby so she knew her best bet was to just let them know as quickly as she could so she could be on her way.

**A/N: **Random ending to another short chapter, I know. I just really wanted to get it up. I know I have been keeping you for so long. I'm sorry. I've got my SAT's next week and, although they don't count for much, I want to do well so I've been revising like crazy and have had hardly any time to BangFictionalize... random word...

Anyway. I'll update ASAP but after my SAT's I'm going on a week long trip to Shropshire... without my laptop! How will I survive?!?!?


	12. Chapter 12

**Baby Names**

**Summary: **Back and better. 22 weeks pregnant with Burke's baby, Cristina is changed forever  
when tragedy strikes for their un-born child. Will they be able to overcome  
it or will everything fall apart? BANG, with other peeps later.  
**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own them for goodness sake.

**Realised this has been lacking a bit recently so I decided to up the ante a little and put more effort in. I hope it's noticeably better! **

Addison and Cristina weren't friends. They hardly spoke at all if it wasn't to do with medicine and Cristina was rarely assigned to Addison's cases anyway. The closest they had ever been was when Addison operated on her and, even then, they hadn't spoken much. Despite that, they still both felt a sort of connection to each other. A bond of trust that, although it was unspoken, was felt between both of them. Cristina knew she could trust Addison with her life because she had saved it before and Addison felt she had some kind of duty to Cristina for not being able to save her first child, even though the pregnancy had started out condemned. Because of this duty, Addison was going to do all she could to save Cristina's baby because she would not be able to handle the guilt of causing her more loss and grief.

The baby was only about ten inches in size and weighed little over ten ounces. His miniature limbs and fragile skin seemed ready to break at any second and his organs were vulnerable to infections. He could not breathe on his own and was extremely weak. He was at great risk of mental illness, cerebral palsy, hearing loss and blindness and that was if he survived with his immature lungs, respiratory distress and heart murmurs.

The tiny baby was up against a huge battle and frightening odds. But with such strong parents he was sure to be a fighter. Addison had seen the most frail and feeble preemies overcome the most daunting odds and, although none of them had been born as early as this one, she was still confident that he could do the same. She hoped and prayed that he could do the same.

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"Tell us what's going on."

"It's not good." Addison felt no need to sugar-coat it. The interns and Bailey knew enough about medicine to know that the news wouldn't be great. They had probably already prepared themselves for the worst even though they were all longing for good news. They looked on willing her to continue. "They're both alive and Cristina _should _recover nicely." Some tension was visibly lifted as there was an audible sigh of relief amongst the group. Addison continued quickly, not wanting to get their hopes up. "But," she said. Everyone became more alert as they were desperate to find out as much news as they could. "The baby is in a critical condition. The odds are… it probably won't make it to tomorrow." She said sadly.

Izzie shook her head with tears welling up in her eyes. Meredith, who too was on the verge of crying, slowly brought a hand to her mouth with shock. Alex turned away to hide how the news was affecting him and George bowed his head with sadness. In the middle of the dismayed bunch stood Bailey, her face a mask of distress and denial. Her breathing was heavy and she seemed to be straining herself not to cry and appear weak to her interns.

Addison could not bear to look at the sorry sight in front of her. She turned to leave but was stopped by Izzie.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" She asked. She knew that what ever it was it probably going to die but she wanted to know anyway.

Addison knew that just that small bit of information would make them become too attached to the baby. It would be harder to cope if it died and they knew that it was a boy that could have grown up to be a great football player or a fireman or any other male dominated jobs.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Izzie repeated after getting no reply.

"That really doesn't-"

"Just…. Is it a boy or a girl?" Izzie asked softly. Addison realised that they were all too emotionally involved anyway and if she didn't tell them they would find out somehow at any rate.

"Boy." She said, looking down and turning again to walk away. As she walked away with her back to the group, Meredith called after her.

"Can we see them?" She asked. "Either of them?"

Addison stopped but didn't turn around. She as considering just ignoring the question. She didn't want to deny Cristina's friends from seeing her or the baby but the baby needed treatment and Burke needed time alone with Cristina. Bailey must have sensed Addison's apprehension because she suddenly piped up, snapping back into attending-mode.

"Uh, no." She said turning to her group of remaining interns. Addison gratefully disappeared round a corner and continued on her way to treat Cristina and Burke's baby. "You think your patients are gonna treat themselves? Go and take care of them!" She ordered them. They all stayed where they were, hardly listening. "Go!" She snapped them back into reality. They looked at her, shocked that she could be so insensitive. "Now." She growled as she herded and shooed them in the opposite direction to where Addison had gone.

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Burke was still talking to Cristina when she started to stir. He noticed straight away the small movement of her fingers in his hand and looked down to see if he had just imagined it. He hadn't. Her fingers were moving ever so slightly and the expression on her face had changed from one of emptiness and no emotion to one of discomfort and confusion. Her eyebrows were twisted into a slight frown although her eyes were still closed. Her feet moved faintly and then her legs. She turned her head away from Burke and groaned quietly. Burke squeezed her hand which was still clasped in his own protectively and was surprised and relieved to feel a weak squeeze back.

He stroked the back of her hand as she continued to make subtle movements, her eyes still failing to open. Her mouth opened and then shut and her frown grew more intense. Burke sat on the edge of his seat unsure of what to do. He wasn't sure whether he should get someone or try to help her wake up so he stayed where he was and did nothing but watch and hold Cristina's hand.

Finally, Cristina began to open her eyes slowly. She squinted and looked around trying to take in her surroundings. The light stung her eyes and was giving her a headache. Everything around her was bright and shiny and she had only just gotten used to the dark she had been trapped in. As she looked to her left she noticed hospital machines but by then she had already figured out that something had happened to her and or the baby. On her right she was pleased to see Burke who seemed just as pleased to see her. He smiled at her half-heartedly as she tried to find her voice.

"What happened?" She tried to say but it came out as a whisper.

Burke looked at Cristina unsure of what to say. The truth was that he didn't know. He had never asked Addison the details so he didn't know much at all about what had happened. He knew the obvious but he didn't know why it happened or when or even where. He didn't know what was going to happen and, come to think of it, he wasn't really sure what was going on at that instance either. What was he supposed to tell her?

He decided to tell her everything he could and they could take it from there. "Addison had to deliver the baby." He told her. Her mouth fell open and her eyes sparkled with a sudden abundance of unshed tears. She quickly shut her mouth and turned to face away from Burke. He squeezed her hand supportively but she pulled it away and rested it gently on the bandage over her abdomen. She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to force the tears back into their ducts but only succeeded in making them roll down her cheeks and on to her pillow.

Burke let his now empty hand rest on the bed and looked down to the floor. He hated seeing Cristina hurt, physically or emotionally and not she was feeling both. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her tight and protect her from all pain. But he knew she needed space right noa and he respected that. He would wait until she was ready.

They stayed in silence like this, her back to him and his eyes on the floor, for what seemed like an eternity until Cristina spoke again suddenly.

"Is it…" she began but trailed off unable to say the word 'dead'. She wasn't sure if she even wanted the answer. She would rather just forget that she was ever pregnant and get on with her life as if nothing had happened. But she couldn't do that. Things weren't that easy.

"No," Burke told her lightly. He didn't want to give her to much hope. With her back still to him he could not see her reaction but he did notice her stiffen slightly. "They're working on him now." He said.

"Him?" Said Cristina, turning instantly to face Burke and wincing with the pain of her sudden movement.

"Yeah," Burke confirmed as he realised the significance of what he had just said. "It's a boy."

**A/N: **New chap! It's 9a.m. and school started ten minutes ago but I've got a 2hr English exam that starts at 10 and a Spanish exam after that which I should be revising for but I just HAD to update before my week away to Shropshire. I wrote this all last night because I was in high spirits after my school had its first, last and only Mufti Day this year! It costed 50p per pupil but it was worth it. Mufti is my favourite day… And Eurovision on Saturday! Can't wait. Except now Casualty and Doctor Who aren't on. Boo Hoo.

Ah! Gotta go or I'll miss the bus! Too much chit-chat….


End file.
